I had just finished working on an some images I had shot. Usually they are in black and white, this time they were color, a selection of landscapes. I had spent the entire morning editing photos, now it was well past lunch and time to take a break.
My office was across the street from my home. I rushed across, for some reason there was a sense of urgency. The street was empty, no pedestrians and no traffic. The buildings were all pale lacking character and definition. My building was a warm ochre and directly across from my office.
I went inside the building and remembered I had to climb a staircase. There still was this sense of urgency. I lived on the third and fourth floors. Thought to myself I need to find a way to combine those two floors to make life easier. Tried jumping from landing to landing, but it was futile, I simply was not athletic enough. I climbed the three flights.
I entered the apartment, architecturally Moroccan in flavor, bright and sunny, colors were all soft warm earth tones. I paid little attention to any anything else. As I walked into the room I noticed Evelyne approaching me. I was a bit surprised, hadn’t expected to see her and I seemed to catch her off guard. More beautiful than I had ever seen her, her lips were a bright red and she was wearing a full length caftan dress. The dress was white with elaborate embroidery, soft round knotted buttons and a gold on gold stripe about an inch and a half wide running down the length of the dress on either side. Evelyne was very happy, and dancing around modeled the dress for me and said; "you've been throwing away so many of my clothes, I decided to keep this to wear around the house, even if I get it dirty and worn it won’t matter "
She walked up to me and put her arms around my neck and gently kissed me on the lips. Something she hadn’t done in a very long time. I held her, kissed her back softly. Then she said;
“I have to take my shower now and get ready” .
That is something she always said to me when I was getting in the way of her daily routine. She walked away and I started to choke up!
At that point I woke from my dream in a cold sweat and sobbing. Evelyne had been dead for 10 months now and this is the first time she was in my dreams.
We had never gotten the opportunity to say goodbye. Evelyne died sooner than she was supposed to, the Dr said she would last at least another 4 weeks. She died the next day. That last morning of her life I told her I loved her and she responded with the same, then she slipped into the coma. I was too busy texting and talking to the nurses, trying to find out what to do next than to even think about sharing final thoughts, and to thank her for the wonderful life we had together. She passed away quietly a few hours later.
I never got to hold her in my arms again. Perhaps this dream was that final goodbye. Radiant, happy and more beautiful than ever............. she gave me the final kiss and said goodbye!!
I wrote this about 2 months ago but wanted to publish it close to the anniversary of her passing, perhaps as my final goodbye to her as well!
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